American Idol - by Jane

Yes, folks, I actually took notes while watching tonight. And now you, you lucky things, are the beneficiaries of same. To begin, then:

1. Amanda Overmeyer: she of the two-toned hair. What is it with this black and blonde thing--she's the third person I've seen it on and forgive me if I say, I don't like it, it looks cheap and tawdry and tatty and rocker chick. Oh, yeah, she IS a rocker chick. Okay, on her it's skunk chic. I got all caught up in her hair style tonight, because I was BORED. Here's what I wrote: "If she doesn't change up her singing style, she's going to lose because all that rock is boring after a while." Here's what Simon said (and I swear he said it after I wrote my note): "Predictable...in danger of being boring..."
2. Kristy Lee Cook: I like her. She's a plucky gal in her underdogdom, and that appeals to the bleeding heart in me. I also like her voice; it's smokey. Simon's take: "not a good performer." I think he's right. She seems to have a quirky personality in there, but it's not coming out when she sings.
3. David Achuletta: I'm a heartless bitch, but I don't like him. He's a kid, a twirp and however big his voice is, he doesn't have the life history to put into his singing. However, there is a resonance in his voice that is just incredible. I keep hearing that he's the frontrunner. Why? Because he's got these chubby cheeks and is a cute little boy? He's the tweeners heartthrob, which makes him a good matchup to Miley Cyrus. Is this what the music world has devolved to: wet dreams for eleven year olds?
4. Michael Johns: I want to like him, but somehow he never comes through for me. He's sorta damp in a moldering kind of way. My notes on him were, and I quote: "Eh." Simon said his perf was a "mess".
5. Brooke White: If I could look like anyone and sound like anyone, it would be her. She's so beautiful in a gangly, fey way, and when she sings, her voice gives me the chills. She's the only one of this lot who I can see up there with Kelly and Carrie. Simon said she was "terrible."
6. David Cook: Another "eh", but in all fairness, I was fiddling with the DVR when he was singing. But that counts, I think, that I thought the DVR was more important than his performance. Also, and you can tell him this, I HATE his hair.
7. Carly Smithson: If you're the sensitive type and/or you like Carly, skip to the next bit, because I am in my Simon Cowell mode here. She sang "Blackbird" and I thought it was a terrible, awful, horrible performance. Her interpretation of extreme emotion is to hunch over, a stance that was ghastly with that red maternity top she was wearing. It had big poufy roses all around the neck, which was not only ghastly (am I using that word too much?) but so incredibly unflattering. It made her look like a turtle who's shell is a tad too tight. And it was sleeveless. Which meant that the big poufy roses were competing with the extravaganza she's got tattooed all over her arm. Bad, bad move. It's one thing to proudly show your tats but (a) we KNOW she's got them, and (b) sometimes less is more, ya know. But I'm not done. In addition to the hunchback, Carly shows extreme emotion (and she was extremely emotional in this song) with three expressions. First, is the pop eyes, which surely is what she'd look like if someone gave her a good goose. Second, is the closed eyes. Third, is the smile which reveals her teeth. Maybe the dentist who came through with caps for Jason guy last year do something about Carly's fangs. Simon's verdict: he didn't like it, said it was "indulgent."
8. Jason Castro: Another "eh". He sang "Michelle" in the most pedestrian manner. Boooorrriinng. Simon said if he'd heard the perf on a radio, he'd have changed the station, but that Jason's "face sold the song."
9. Shyesha Mercado: She sang "Yesterday," a song that can make me cry when McCartney sings it. Not tonight. She said she wanted "to touch everybody the way the song touched" her, back in Middle School. She didn't touch me. It started off too high and her voice got all wispy. Midway though she got better, and Simon said it was "your best perfomance so far." Not for me.
10. Chikezie: There's something very sweet about his face and I want him to do well, but I dunno, not an "eh" but not a bra burner either. Also, when that dentist gets done with Carly, he should do cosmetic surgery on Chikezie's gums, which need to be foreshortened.
11. Ramiele Malubay: Who the hell is styling her? They've got her looking like some Phillipino Cholo girl. The outfit was dreadful, the hat was ridiculous and she was tottering around on shoes that were about as big as her head. She's got a terrific voice, but she was all over the place tonight. She sang "I Should Have Known Better" and it should have sounded better.

Because this is a popularity contest more than a singing contest, I think Kristy, Michael and Chikezie will be in the bottom three. Who goes? Probably Kristy.