First I Stalked Her; Now I'm Pimping Her

It's over now, so I can talk about it.

One Sunday afternoon, while out and about on my way to Target, I spied with my little eye a different kind of licenseplate holder, one that I'd never seen before, at least not up here in the woods. It was an URL for a site called runnerblogger.com. Such a wondrous thing to come on in Elk Grove--or my life, for that matter--where I am, amongst those I know the rare one who blogs. I have felt quite lonely in that regard, so seeing in front of me an SUV that must I thought, I hoped contain a blogger was exciting beyond words. Someone like me. Someone to talk to. Someone who didn't think I was insane or just plain noodley for keeping a blog (and at your age, my dear).

So I did what any person lusting for friends would do (wouldn't you?): I followed that SUV. I was prepared to go some distance--maybe not way over to the South Side--but still, a ways. Except the runnerblogger pulled into the Target parking lot. Is that not a miracle? Or at least, kismet?

I parked my car any which way and ran to the SUV, from which was emerging a long and lanky redhead, with a kid in hand and one in arms. She was, I must tell you, gorgeous. Stunning really. And model tall. And model chic. And I loved her on sight.

So I accosted her. "Hi, I'm not a runner but I am a blogger," I said.

Witty.

She, bless her heart, did not shun me. Did not look down on me from those 72 inches and whither me with a look. Puleeze. Who are you? And why are you in my air space?

Rather, she stopped. She smiled. She listened to me blather, and then she gave me her actual url, Queen of Dysfunction

I've been visiting her site for several months now. She is amazingly funny. An English major now studying to be an undertaker (am I the only one who sees the similarity? Or must one be an English major oneself to get it?). She writes about her life and her kids and her funeral-whatever studies She's got a couple of latino fish who think pudenda is a new dance. And a husband known as the King of Dysfunction. She is, I have to tell you, the dooce of Elk Grove, if not all Sacramento. Yes, she's that witty and that smart and that right-on-the-edge.

So I've added her to my blogroll. And you should check her out.