My Tidy Whitey Drawer

As I was pulling a pair of what the Brits call knickers from the chest of drawers the other day, I saw with a start that all of my underwear is white. How did that happen? Am I really that old? Before anyone rushes to judgment, let me say that my knickers are bikinis. I do not wear those huge old saggy things referred to as Old Lady Pants. But really, Jane, what's with the white underwear? I mean, it's not like you've got a lot of menstrual blood that you're looking to bleach out.

Actually, the tidy whiteys just sorta slipped up on me, in a manner of speaking. My first pair of bikinis--ah, I remember them well--had big black polkadots and a matching bra. Life was never the same after that, and I moved on to pastels and prints and even bold colors (I wore magenta to an interview at the MLA just so at least I knew that I wasn't some boring old professor).

Notice how the word old keeps creeping into this conversation.

The fact is that my knickers are white because...because...because that's how they came in the package of six at Target where I bought them. And now that I've noticed, there's so no way in hell that I'm not going out tomorrow to buy a new lot of colored ones.