Why I Will Never Weigh Less

This should be subtitled: Ya Want Me Thin or Ya Want Me Happy?

I have just come back from a Sugar Run. This is when I get in my car and go! anywhere! there's! sweetstuff! I knew I had to do this when I read an email about MidLifeBloggers and didn't give a shit that I didn't care at all to find out what the sender was talking about. "Hold all discussion about logo colors. I have to get a cupcake."

But first, Molly and I had to get her some food. That dog is going to eat me out of house and home, as my mother used to say (and I didn't understand what it meant then either, hello Chris Martin).

But first I had to go to Michael's to get me a gem or two to fiddle with. And in Michael's, I met with a Very Large Woman who was insidiously insistent on jumping the queue. When I called her on it the first time, she got all humble "Sorry sorry sorry..." she said in what I think was a West Indian accent. And then she preceded to sprint for the next open cash register. Do I have to describe to you my wrath and chagrin and how I arrived at the cash register just a beat after she did and waved my goods over her head for the clerk to take. But the clerk was cowering and yelling for help and obviously wasn't going to Do The Right Thing And Instill Public Decorum. So I flung myself over to the next cash register and stopped myself from hissing a multitude of Ugly American comments.

Still seething, I got into my car, turned the key in the ignition, and--nada. So I jumped out, put Molly on a leash and we walked WALKED all the way down to the pet store. She was hyper as hell which manifests itself as Whirling Dervish act. This, as you might imagine, did not help my mood. I dragged her around the store--actually, she dragged me, more or less--and finally we WALKED all the way back to where the car was parked.

And it still wouldn't start.

So I called D, because when my car won't start I like to remind him that it's his fault I bought it. He told me to call AAA. I called AAA and the operator was just tellling me that there were no tow trucks available but he'd put an order in--. And my car started. Just like that. Obviously some sympatico thing between the AAA vibes and--whatever.

I drove straight to Starbucks because I was lusting after a cupcake. But when I got there, they had those Almond Pecan Cookie things that I'm addicted to. What To Do? What To Do? What To Do?

It was a tough afternoon, guys, so I bought both cupcake and cookie.

There is now a smile on my face (and a crumb on my chest...).

This 'n' That

whatever...yadayadayada...ho hum, wake me when this post is over.

Sorry, gang, but I'm just not in the mood. Maybe I have a headache. Maybe I don't love you anymore....

Did I tell you I decided not to buy a new car?

I decided not to buy a new car. I did the math. A new car would take multiple thousands out of my account plus multiple hundreds every month. For a mere one thousand, I can get new air conditioning. Such a deal. Right? Plus, why would I want to buy a cute little convertible when I already have a cute little convertible? So, it's a little shopworn. There's that chunk missing from the bumper (where did it go--and when?). And it's dirty....yes, soiled, perhaps beyond the scope of all but the greatest of detail experts. Still, it runs, so what am I complaining about? Ungrateful wretch.

Maybe tomorrow I'll arrive at my blog dashboard full of vim and vigor and piss and vinegar, but right now--pfffluey.

Buying A Car, a Tragedy in Several Acts

I've been trying to buy a new car for the past couple of years. Without much luck. Due, in no small measure to the witlessness of the salespeople. Remember my disaster at Toyota. Now I'd like to introduce you to Volkswagen. I thought I should compare the VW Beetle with the Mini Cooper, which makes sense since Consumer Reports compares them as well. Being a saavy computer person and all, I like to make my initial forays on line. Here's the response I got from the local VW dealership:

Hello Jane

As the General Manager of Elk Grove Volkswagen, I just wanted to thank you for your recent Internet Inquiry for information on a 2008 Volkswagen New Beetle.

If there is any problem or difficulty that you feel needs my attention please feel free to contact me personally.

It has always been my aim to provide honest and genuine value in all aspects of our dealership. Currently it is my understanding that we have not been able to contact you. Please let me know if you are still interested in the information you originally requested, regardless of your timeframe. We will contact you with specials from Volkswagen.


If I or my team can be of any service please don't hesitate to contact us by simply replying to this email or call me at the numbers listed below.


Sincerely,

Gina Parr
General Sales Manager

Nice, right? Here's what I wrote back:

Hi Gina, Thanks for replying to my query. My current VW has 77,000 miles on it. The air conditioner is busted to the tune of $1500. The driver's side window stopped functioning: $500+ to repair. It used to be that VW was the workhorse of automobiles. Clearly that is no longer the case, and I won't be buying another. Jane

If this blog offers me nothing else, at least I get to vent in public! The problem I feel needs Gina's attention is the cost of repairs to VWs. Last year's airconditioning problem was bad O rings. Okay, that sounds like something that might go after 70,000 miles, and I paid up without complaint. Now less than a year later, it's the compressor that's gone. And then there's the window, the driver's side window, which has a broken plastic something or other that will cost $500+ to repair because the only people who make that plasticsomethingor other are VW. I have to have it fixed because the alternative--well, let's just say I'm not one of those people who is willing to drive around with plastic sheeting taped to her car door. Call me a snob, whatever. So VW once again has me by the short and curlies...damn them to hell.

By the way, FYI, and heads up: Consumer Reports picks the Mini over the Beetle

Car Shopping

Whatcha think? Yes? No? Maybe?